Trust
by OmoideKeeper
Summary: Updated 11.9.02 Sometimes we don't want to know the truth... Taichi finds out Yamato's past and opens a can of worms... Light Taito, Jyoushirou, OCXKoushirou, OCXJyou (future), Takari
1. Chapter 1

Trust

Yamato ran and ran until he could run no more. He sank down to his knees in the soft grass, gasping for breath. /I am such an idiot. How could I have let them get so close to my secret?/  
He heard voices coming closer, calling his name. He painfully pulled himself to his feet, and started running again, unwilling to let them catch him. /Why now? Why now?/ he asked himself. /God, why the hell now?/ He had been so close to feeling secure, and then they had dropped the bomb on him. They wanted to know about his parents.  
Out of nowhere, Yamato was suddenly tackled by a figure with wild brown hair and goggles. "Yamato, what's up? Why're you running away from us?" Taichi had obviously planned this, and when everyone else caught up, out of breath, he told them to wait for them at camp. Everyone, too tired to question, stumbled back, as Taichi turned to face Yamato, who was still lying on the ground, underneath Taichi.  
"Leave me alone, Taichi," Yamato managed to say as he fought for breath. He cursed himself for being such an idiot to not see that trap.  
"Not until you tell me what's wrong!! All we said was, 'So, what's your parents like? Do you miss them?' trying to include you in the conversation, and you went ballistic on us! You must have run for what, five miles or something?"  
"Why won't you leave me alone, Taichi?" Yamato swore at the younger boy who pinned him down. /If only I wasn't so damn tired, I could push him off./  
"What's so bad about your parents? Even Takeru didn't seem to know what made you so riled up! What's this dark secret you have?" Taichi seemed genuinely concerned, but Yamato knew better than to trust anyone. How could he, when he had never learned how to?  
"Nothing. Ok? Nothing. Now will you get the hell offa me?" Yamato asked, annoyance flashing in his passionate blue eyes that held so many secrets captive.  
/Why won't you tell me, Yamato?/ Taichi inwardly asked himself. He was hurt by this open rejection of the friendship that he had tried to give to the difficult boy this entire trip. /Friendship, yeah, that's Yamato all right. All cuddles./  
"Yamato...what are you so afraid of?" Taichi asked.  
Yamato started. He wasn't afraid of anything! "I'm not afraid of anything, Taichi, least of all you!"  
"That's not what I meant, Yamato," Taichi gently explained. "Why are you so afraid to tell me?"  
"Like you would understand," Yamato said under his breath. Taichi looked as though he had been slapped.  
/Why can't you trust me, Yama? What have I done?/ Taichi looked sorrowfully down at the blonde boy who seemed so frozen inside.  
As Taichi stood up, he told Yamato, "Just remember, I'm always here for you, tomodachi."  
**********************************************************  
That was three years ago. None of them had pushed Yamato for information after that, not even Takeru. Yamato knew that, and remembered Taichi's promise.  
Yamato turned towards the picture on his bedstand. It was of the entire group, right when they had returned from the Digiworld. The Digimon weren't in the picture, but Yamato could picture them. There was Patamon, the silly little monster who digivolved into such a powerful one. There was Gatomon, the cat with an attitude problem. There was Gomamon, who was too happy for Yamato's liking. There was Palmon, the flower who got on Yamato's nerves a little too much. There was Tentomon, the smartest of them all. There was Biyomon, the little pink bird who always had a kind word for everyone. There was Agumon, the orange dinosaur who encouraged everyone.  
Then there was Gabumon. /God...I miss him so much.../ Yamato remembered Gabumon with a pang in his heart. He had meant so much to him. He needed that guidance now. Now of all times, he wished he hadn't pushed the others away.  
Yamato sighed as he reminded himself that it was his fault that he was alone now. He had pushed the others out of his life, including Takeru. Now it was summer again, the summer before eighth grade. Three whole years had passed.  
The phone rang in the next room. /Dad's out. I should get it. Naw, I'll let the answering machine get it. That's what it's for, damn it./ Yamato heard the message machine come on, and heard an unexpected voice. "Hi, Yamato? This is Taichi Kamiya. I don't know if you still remember me, but I wanted to talk to you. If you get a chance, gimme a call, ok? My number's 555-8245. Talk to you soon, hopefully."  
Yamato wanted to pick up the phone the moment he heard Taichi come on, but he let the message machine take it. He waited a minute, then walked to the machine, and pressed ERASE.  
**********************************************************  
Taichi sighed as he went and sat down on the couch next to his sister after hanging up the phone. He was thoroughly discouraged. "No luck, Taichi?" Hikari asked with a sympathetic look. She knew it wasn't easy on her big brother being the only pillar of support she had. They depended on each other, but it was harder for him, being older.  
"Nope. Why don't you call Takeru and invite him over? Just don't say anything about his brother, ok? You know he still can't get over the fact that Yamato thought that he said that he hated him. God, I hate rumors," Taichi groaned as he tried to sink down into the couch, into oblivion.  
"I know, Taichi, I do too. It destroys so many lives and friendships that could be so great." With that, Hikari stood up and bounced over to the phone. /She's grown up so pretty. I wish that Mom and Dad were here. I wonder where they went to two months ago. Why didn't they come back? Why didn't they tell me? What the hell were they thinking, leaving me and Hikari by ourselves? I need help now, and Yamato's the only guy I can think of who could help./  
/Takeru's coming over...I wish his brother would do the same. It's so hard to try to talk to that guy! I was in his class last year, and I didn't even notice it! I am such an idiot. Sora's right. I deserve whatever lame girl gets thrown my way./  
**********************************************************  
Yamato paced around his room. That was the third time in a week that Taichi had tried to call him. /What was going on with that boy? He sounds more desperate every time he calls. Maybe I should call him back. Maybe I shouldn't. Why the hell should I care about his problems? I have enough of my own! God, why am I even thinking about this? I don't have any reason for anything!/  
Yamato stopped, and slammed his fist into a pillow on his bed. He couldn't go out. He didn't want to stay inside though. He was like a caged animal, chained to the world he knew, yet yearning for the outside world. He faced the blinds on his windows that had remained closed for eight years, ever since his parents had gotten divorced. He would never open them again.  
The phone rang again. Yamato glared at it. He hadn't answered the phone in two weeks. Come to think of it, he hadn't TALKED in two weeks. He sighed, as he picked up the phone after clearing his throat. "Hello. This is the Ishida residence," he droned, surprised that he was able to even say that.  
"Hi, is Yamato there? This is Takeru."  
Yamato almost dropped the phone. How dare that bastard call? "Hello?" Takeru asked again.  
"Hi. This is Yamato." Yamato marveled that he could sound so calm, and yet be so angry, so angry that it was deadly.  
"Yamato, we need to get a few things straightened out..." Takeru began hesitatingly.  
Yamato reined in his temper before it got out of hand. /A few things straightened out? Right. Like how much you hate me? On what level do you hate me? What's left to talk about?/  
"Yamato, are you still there?"  
"Yes."  
"Um...about what you thought I said last year..."  
"What about it, Takeru?" Yamato asked in his best standoffish voice. He sounded cold and cruel, just as he felt. He could almost feel the frost coming from his voice.  
Takeru was close to tears by this time. He had promised Hikari that he'd try to smooth matters with his brother, but he hadn't expected Yamato to be this mean!  
"Yamato, please..." he begged, the sound of a child crying for help.  
"Please what, Takeru? I don't even see why you're calling. We have nothing left to talk about." Yamato slammed the phone down, and went to his room. The phone rang again, a few seconds later, but he let the machine take it. The person left no message.  
**********************************************************  
/Why does he have to be so mean? I never said that! Why can't he believe me?/ Takeru asked himself, but he already knew the answer. He had been Yamato's pride and joy, and hearing that must have torn him apart. He had been Yamato's last tie to the Digidestined, and rumors had broken it. /Yamato...I'm sorry! I didn't say that! I never thought that! Not even when you fought Taichi! I'm your little brother, Takeru! Can't you try to forgive me?/  
He straightened himself up as he got ready to go to Hikari's house. He had tried to talk to his older brother. He had failed to even engage him in a real conversation. He wouldn't try again. Not even Hikari could make him. It was too painful to relive those memories.  
**********************************************************  
Taichi was annoyed. No, he was more than annoyed, he was very, very, VERY upset. Takeru had come to their house, as promised, but he had been almost in tears when he had gotten here. He and Hikari had tried to comfort the poor boy, but it had been to no avail. Hikari had just taken him to her room to try to let him calm down. Hopefully she would succeed where he had failed. Now if only Taichi could get his older brother to dive off a cliff or something, Takeru might feel a little better.  
Taichi slammed his fist down on the desk next to the phone. /Why the hell is Yamato so difficult? All he has to do is TALK to the poor guy. No, that's too much to ask from Mr. High and Mighty. Maybe someone should talk to him, let him know how we all feel. Yeah, like that would help. I doubt he even remembers us. That's it, I'm sick and tired of playing games with a bastard who doesn't even acknowledge me. I'm going to MAKE him notice me! Even if it takes me 'til the end of the summer, I'll get him to tell me his secret. I'll start today./  
Taichi stood up. "Hikari? I'm going out!" he called over his shoulder, grabbing a jacket and walking out the door, without waiting for his sister's response.  
**********************************************************  
Yamato, though fully dressed, as though he was going someplace, was sitting on his bed, having no intention of going anywhere. Instead, he began asking himself questions. /Why the hell am I always pushing people away? I'm such a bastard. I should have at least listened to whatever Takeru had to say. He is...WAS my little brother./  
He lay on the bed, trying to block out the world. Why couldn't things ever be simple? He was always stuck in a deep pile of shit. KNOCK KNOCK. Someone was at the door.  
Yamato groggily stood up, and went to see who was there. He looked through the peephole, then looked away angrily. There stood Taichi, trying to act like he wasn't angry as hell.  
"What do you want, Taichi?" Yamato asked through the door.  
"Oh, so you do remember me. I was wondering since you haven't returned my calls," Taichi answered sarcastically.  
"I'm not in the mood for this, Taichi, so leave me alone."  
"I need to talk to you, Yamato Ishida, and it's important. You can keep me out for as long as you like, but I'm not leaving until you let me in and let me talk to you."  
Yamato sighed as he opened the door. He wasn't in the mood for a fight. The phone call with Takeru had been enough to get him tired, too tired to fight Taichi, who was as strong or stronger than he was. Not that he'd ever admit that.  
As Taichi slid in, acting as though he thought the door would close on him at any second, Yamato studied him.  
He hadn't changed much in three years. He had the same wild hair, the same deep brown eyes. Now though, those eyes seemed to be filled with worry, not the carefree ones that had graced the boy whom Yamato had met in the Digiworld. This was the man Taichi had grown into.  
"What do you want, Taichi?" Yamato asked as he turned and walked towards his room.  
"Well, that's a nice greeting for someone you haven't seen in three years," Taichi wryly commented.  
"What do you want?" Yamato repeated, not in the mood for games either.  
"I need your help."  
Those words were so unexpected that Yamato actually turned around. "You what?" he asked, disbelievingly.  
"I need to know how to survive without anyone else taking care of you. My parents went on vacation two months ago, and they haven't come back. They were supposed to come back two days after they left. Now it's just Hikari and me and whoever else we invite over."  
"Why would I help you?"  
"I don't know. I just know that I promised you that I'd be there for you if you needed it. You seemed to disregard that as just another foolish promise that would be forgotten. Well, it wasn't. I remember, and I WILL honor that promise."  
/God, is this guy stupid or something? I don't want his damn promises! I just want to be left alone!/  
/Come on, Yamato. You can't be alone forever! Let me in. Let me help you!/  
"I can't help you, Taichi." /How can I help him when I can't help myself?  
"That's ok."  
"Bye."  
"Yamato--" Taichi began as Yamato began turning away again. "Yamato, if you ever need anything, a friend, or whatever, just call me."  
"Yeah, sure."  
"I mean it."  
"Whatever."  
**********************************************************  
Taichi walked home slowly. He had nowhere else to turn to. The only ones who knew about his and Hikari's present situation were Takeru, and now Yamato. He reached home just as the phone rang.  
"Hello, Kamiya residence," Taichi said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.  
"Taichi"  
"Yamato?"  
"I was thinking...can you keep a secret?"  
"Yeah, I can."  
"Oh. Ok."  
"Why?"  
"No reason. Could you come back over here?"  
"Sure, Yamato."  
The phone went dead, as Taichi turned around and walked back to the lion's den.  
**********************************************************  
/Why the hell'd I do that? Now he's gonna come over here...It's ok. I don't have to tell him anything. It's just...keeping this secret hurts so much sometimes.../  
KNOCK KNOCK. Yamato got up to answer the door. "Taichi...it's good to see you."  
"Same to you, Yamato."  
"I...I have to tell you something."  
"What is it?"  
"Remember in the Digiworld, you guys asked about my parents?"  
"How could I forget? You ran about five miles before we finally caught up to you!"  
"Yeah well, this is why I wouldn't answer you." Yamato rolled up his shirt a little on the right side, and Taichi caught his breath in his throat. He felt for a moment as though there was no air in the room, like he someone was strangling him, but he was strangling himself. He saw the bottom of a scar. Yamato looked at Taichi's face, and pulled the shirt up more. The scar ran from about an inch above his pants about six inches upward.  
"Yamato...what happened?"  
"You really want to know?"  
"Yeah."  
"Ok then...but it's a secret. You can't tell anyone. Especially not Takeru. Do you understand?"  
"Sure, Yamato."  
FLASHBACK  
A young boy sits on his bed, crying, not able to understand why he will never see his mother or his little brother again. His father stands in the next room, clearing away all of his mother's possessions that she left behind when she left.  
The man hurts inside as he remembers his ex-wife's beautiful face. He remembers how good it had felt to hold her close. He sees his wife's oldest child sitting on his bed, crying, and feels nothing but pain.  
He doesn't see the child, he sees one of the two factors that had forced him and his wife to split apart. He sees the reason he is denied her presence.  
He raises his hand to strike the boy, and a look of pure terror passes through the boy's eyes as he is hit to the ground. His father laughs as he throws the boy into the bedpost. Blood trickles from the boy's cheek, mingling with the tears falling.  
"Why, Daddy?" is the only question the boy can think of to ask.  
There is no response, only another punch to the stomach. The boy curls up into a little ball, trying to get away from the pain. This only enrages his father more.  
His father starts throwing things at the boy, kicking him, telling him how worthless he is. The boy cries out in pain as a sharp edge pierces the soft skin on his side.  
END FLASHBACK  
Taichi gently touched Yamato who shrunk from his touch. "Yama...I'm sorry. I didn't know..."  
"I've never told anyone about that."  
"Does he still do that to you?"  
"Not in that way."  
"What do you mean, Yama?"  
"He just says things...he doesn't use physical force."  
"Is there anything I can do to help you, Yama? Anything?"  
"Nothing...there's nothing you can do."  
Taichi just sat next to Yamato, wishing he could do more, both of them lamenting for past mistakes, and for what had become of their families.


	2. Chapter 2: A Step Towards Light, Two St...

A Step Towards The Light; Two Steps Towards The Dark Ooh, never thought of putting this in before. Ok, / /=thought. Um...ok, Japanese! Doushite-why. Nande-Why. Onii-chan-Older Brother. Onegai-please. Hontou-Really. Kiite kudasai-Please listen. Gomen nasai-I'm sorry. Now onto the story!!!! 

Yamato stared out the window at the bright blue sky, and inwardly wondered how anything could be so happy. It had been two weeks since the world had seemed to start over, two weeks since he had finally told someone the secret he had been hoarding for most of his life.  
RING! The phone sounded gleeful as it rang through the house. In fact, everything sounded happier now...so why did Yamato still feel so empty inside?  
He sighed as he walked towards the phone. No point in wondering now. He had plenty of time to do that. The whole rest of the summer. "Hello?" he asked tiredly, trying to find out who might be calling him at this time.  
"Yamato?" came the scared voice. The voice sounded as though he was afraid of being struck by him.  
"Takeru?" Yamato answered doubtfully.  
"Yes?" Takeru asked, hoping that this conversation wouldn't be a repeat of the last time.  
"Why are you calling?"  
"I...I wanted to talk to you about something."  
"Sure...why don't you come over here?" Yamato asked, suddenly realizing that he hadn't invited anyone, other than Taichi two weeks ago, to his house since the divorce. Or was it before that? He actually couldn't remember ever inviting someone over...why was that?  
"Really? Ok, Yamato!" Takeru answered, sounding greatly relieved. However, there was still something haunting his voice, as though a mysterious being was there, pressing down on his innocence, forcing his happiness to a minimum.  
Yamato hung up the phone, confused. He understood so little of what was happening now. Before it was so simple. Just stay away from everyone, then you can't get hurt, then they can't hurt you...  
KNOCK! Came the sound that Yamato was expecting. Even so, he jumped, then winced as he remembered that he was waiting for Takeru. He silently cursed himself as he walked towards the door.  
Takeru was standing there, his eyes clouded and doubtful. He was obviously afraid that his older brother would change his mind at the last moment and tell him to go home, that he never wanted to see him again. "Hi, Yamato," Takeru nervously whispered, shuffling his feet.  
/I'll just let him sweat a little longer. If what Taichi says is true...but if it's not, then.../ "Hi, Takeru."  
/Is he still mad at me? Taichi said that he told him the truth, but then...Yamato was so mad at me.../  
Yamato decided to take pity on the younger boy, and motioned him inside. Takeru visibly let out the breath he had been holding, and quickly stepped inside, looking as though he had been invited into a holy sanctuary. /Right, a sanctuary. More like a gateway to hell./ "Takeru, what do you want to tell me?" Yamato asked, as though he wouldn't believe a word that Takeru said.  
Takeru's eyes began to fill with tears. /He didn't believe Taichi after all! Why doesn't he want to believe me? I wouldn't lie to him! Why can't he believe me? Why? DOUSHITE?/ "Onii-chan...onegai..." he pleaded with his older brother for sympathy.  
"What did you want to tell me?" Yamato repeated, wondering how this would play out. /If I continue this, things could get interesting...but how much longer can I hold out to Takeru's innocence? Damn him. Why does he have to be so fucking sweet?/  
Takeru looked down, his hands clasped together, as if he knew that if he let them go, he would grab his older brother and beg him. "I never said that I hated you, Yama."  
"Hontou?" Yamato asked sarcastically.  
/Why does he have to be so mean? I'm trying to explain...and I need his help right now!/  
/Why does he keep trying? What could I mean to him that makes him keep coming back?/  
"Onii-chan...kiite kudasai. Gomen nasai for what you heard, but I never said that! I'm your little brother, and I could never think that about you, much less say it! Please, you've got to understand!" Takeru was close to tears by now, and although he could try to hold them back, he knew he wasn't strong enough to keep them away forever.  
"Then why did they say that you said that, Takeru?" Yamato asked, deadly calm. "Why, Takeru? Answer me that! WHY?" his cool finally broke, and he raged at Takeru, his eyes boring into him, trying to make him understand the pain that he had gone through because of him. Not just that one time either. Several other times rumors had almost split the two apart.  
/Why doesn't he understand? They've said things like this before! Why is he listening now? What did I do that made him believe this?/  
/Why doesn't he understand? I don't think he wants to understand the pain he's put me through! He thinks he's all high and mighty, and when something like this happens he expects me to just listen?/  
"They've said things like that before, Yamato--"  
"Yeah, maybe that's true, but before at least someone had the courtesy to tell me that it wasn't true as soon as they heard," he replied accusingly.  
"I couldn't, Yamato! Mom, she--"  
"She what? She kept you from telling me? Great, so both my parents are against me."  
"That's not what I was going to say-"  
"I think you've said enough, Takeru," Yamato replied, his anger rekindled thanks to his brother's outbursts.  
"Yamato...I came here for your help," Takeru tried to explain.  
That stopped Yamato's anger for a moment. He turned around so that Takeru couldn't see the conflicting emotions dancing across his face like words dancing across a blank page. "Nande?" he asked quietly, wanting to know the reason before he made any decisions on whether or not to help.  
"It's Mom. She's been acting really strange lately..."  
"So? Why should I care?"  
"And she's been seeing Dad," Takeru finished quietly.  
Yamato felt every bone in his body stiffen up. /This can't be happening! I won't go through that again! I won't!/ "She's what?" he asked softly, menecingly.  
"She's been seeing Dad," Takeru repeated, unsure now, his brother's reaction being so out of the ordinary. He thought that he would yell, or simply accept it, but this coldly controlled...fear? /What's wrong, Onii-chan? What is it about them seeing each other that makes you so scared?/  
"No!" Yamato whispered to himself, beginning to lose the last shreds of control he had. "No..." Flashes of memories ran through his mind, like lightning, each quicker than the last.  
"Yama?" Takeru asked, looking at his brother. He hadn't meant to upset him...  
"Never mind," Yamato's face softened slightly as he turned to face his younger brother again. /We're going to have to work together in order to stop this...but to do that, I'm going to have to trust him...and tell him the truth. Do I really want to do that, and risk getting hurt again? What if he's lying now? How can I ever trust anyone with this? How can I know.../  
"Yama...?" Takeru looked so concerned, as Yamato inwardly battled the memories that threatened to surface.  
RING! The phone snapped Yamato out of his battle, and for once in his life, he thanked whoever was on the other side.  
"Hello?"  
"Yamato? Are you ok?"  
"Taichi?"  
"Yeah, it's me...I wanted to know how you were doing..."  
"And whether Takeru was over here."  
"Well..."  
"He's here. I'm fine."  
"If you say so..."  
"I do."  
"You wanna come over here? Besides, Hikari would love to see Takeru."  
"Sure."  
"See you in a little while then?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Promise?"  
"Yeah. I promise."  
"All right."  
"What was that about, Yama?" Takeru asked, looking at the phone, hoping that Taichi asked what he thought he had.  
"C'mon, Takeru. We're going to Taichi and Hikari's."  
"Oh...but..."  
"Let's go."  
Takeru sighed, looking at his older brother. Something was wrong here, but he couldn't place it. /What's wrong, Yamato? What are you so afraid of? What could hurt you this badly?/ 


	3. Chapter 3: Help is Near Just ask

Taichi watched the two blondes approach from his window. They didn't notice it, but Taichi watched, noting how, even now, after all they'd been through, they still leaned in towards each other, not letting the crowds part them on their way.

Hikari glanced over at her brother, her eyes filling with tears as she looked at him. /This is hard enough on me...but since he's the older one, what's hard for me, is almost impossible for him. I hope that Takeru and Yamato can do something...it's so hard.../

A knock came on the door, and Taichi was jolted out of his dreamlike state. "Hikari, can you get the door?" he asked gently, forcing a smile onto his face as he turned around.

"Sure!" she replied, doing the same. They both knew that it was fake, but they both needed that slim reassurance, the pretending that it was ok. That facade was all that kept them sane it seemed.

Hi, Takeru, Yamato! Hikari greeted the brothers, and ushered Takeru towards her room.

Yamato looked at Taichi, his eyes narrowing. /Who does he think he's fooling with that smile?/

As soon as the door to Hikari's room closed, however, the smile faded away, and Taichi sunk down onto the couch. Yamato understood at once, and for the first time in so long, he felt his heart go out to another person.

It's good to see you, Yama, Taichi said, trying to start a conversation.

Yamato just nodded, his mind still trying to understand what was going on around here. This whole world seemed to be made up of secrets and lies.

Taichi, why did you call me? Yamato asked, curious for the reason, and wanting to help Taichi the way he wanted to be helped, but couldn't trust enough to be.

I need you to help me find out what happened to my parents, Yama. If they're... Taichi trailed off, unable to continue for a moment, then forced the words. Dead, I need to know. I need to know, so I can help Hikari.

Yamato thought about this for a moment, debating on what to do. He knew that Taichi's parents were probably dead, or else they would've sent word, but he couldn't tell Taichi that. Yet, there was nothing that he could do, except agree. Taichi had helped him, and it would be unfair if he did anything less for his friend. /Friend...I haven't used that word in so long.../

"I'll try, Taichi, but I can't promise anything," he told him, his sapphire eyes downcast. /I can try to help Taichi, but I need help of my own right now! If they're back together...no, I can't think about that. I have to do that on my own. I can't let Takeru get involved in it. He wouldn't...couldn't understand what's happened./

"Arigatou, Yama. How's your life going?"

*******************************************************

Hikari sat with Takeru in silence for a while, neither one ready to say anything to the other, but both knowing that they couldn't just let silence set in.

"So..." Hikari began, brushing her brown hair back behind her ear nervously.

"So..." Takeru asked, his eyes downcast, the ground being observed very carefully.

"How's everything?"

"I don't understand what's wrong with Yama," Takeru blurted out.

Hikari was a bit taken aback by her friends sudden outburst, but was calm about it. "What don't you understand, Takeru-chan?" she asked softly, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"I told him...about Mom and Dad seeing each other," he began, his hand finding Hikari's in his discomfort.

"And?" Hikari asked, wanting to know how Yamato had taken it. She had known for a while, being the first person that Takeru had told, but Yamato should have been first. Indeed, he would have been first, had he let Takeru talk to him.

"He acted strange...scared almost. As if something was wrong with them being together. As if...it was dangerous that they were together."

Hikari made a mental note of this, trying to understand what was going on. /Taichi...I hope you're getting further with Yamato, then I am with Takeru. He's so scared...both of them in their own ways. Yet...while they need help, so do we. Why isn't the world fair?/

"And...he said something once...a long time ago...I barely remember. But...it was something about never letting THEM hurt me. I didn't know what he meant then, but I think he was talking about our parents," Takeru confessed, a need for reassurance staring out through his eyes.

Hikari gently patted Takeru's hand, and whispered comforting words to him, hoping that one day there'd be peace in the world, enough that things like this wouldn't happen to people like Takeru, people who were too good to get caught up in things like this.

*******************************************************

A mailman walked up the flights of stairs, and started slipping letters into the mailboxes. He stopped when he got to the Kamiya residence, looking at the letter in his hand.

The letter was stained with blood that began to flow again, down his arm. He cried out once, as the venom in that blood sunk into his skin. As he fell to the ground, the letter drifted through the mail opening.


	4. Chapter 4: A Simple Mistake

Hi everyone!It's me again.Anyway, NikkiSweet's review made me think.How many of you want this to turn out to be a yaoi fic?Warning though, I don't write Taito, I only write Yamachi, so you'd better choose wisely.Tell me in your next review, ne?

Here goes chapter 4!

------------------------------------------------

/How is my life going?/ Yamato thought as he walked back with Takeru.He still hadn't explained to his brother…it was so odd to think of him that way, after shunning him for so long.Takeru was his brother though."Takeru…Dad won't be home tonight…you wanna stay over?" Yamato asked, as casually as he could.He never thought that he would ever say those words again

Of course, he was doing a lot of things he never thought he'd do again, mostly reconnecting with the other Digidestined, talking, getting out of the house…yes, this was turning out to be a most interesting year.Interesting good or bad he wasn't sure of yet, but he knew that there were some things he'd have to stop, and soon.

Like his parents.The thought of them getting back together infuriated him and scared him more than anything else in the world ever had.If they got back together, how could he protect Takeru?How could he protect himself?Yamato thrust those thoughts out of his head angrily, not trusting himself to stay in control at a time like this.

Takeru's face lit up with a light that had been missing ever since that day, the day he'd heard about the rumors.The day he'd tried to go to Yamato and had been told to go away and never come back.The day his childhood had ended forever."Really, Yamato?Of course I'll stay!" excitement flashed in those blue eyes that, even facing the hardship that Yamato had caused him, still shone with innocence.

For a moment, fear ran through Yamato, fear that one day rumors like those that had come before would be true, that the pain that he felt inside of him would be exposed.This fear was followed by the sharp pain of watching the innocence that he would never feel again dance across another's features.He knew that he'd have to tell Takeru sooner or later…but surely that could wait.Yamato wanted, no, needed to revel in that innocence for just a little while longer.

"Itai!" Takeru shouted as he tripped and fell on the hard cement.

"Takeru!" Yamato bent down quickly and helped his little brother up."Are you all right?" he asked anxiously, checking over Takeru with a worried eye.

"H-hai…sorry…I just tripped…"

Yamato looked at the ground, and saw a small rock with a letter wrapped around it.He frowned and stuffed the rock in his pocket, making a mental note to look at it later.

*****************************

The two brothers arrived at the Ishida home moments later."Thanks for asking me over, Yamato, I think I'll just—" Takeru stopped as he saw that the house wasn't uninhabited at the moment, contrary to what Yamato had thought./But I thought Yamato said…surely he would've told me if he thought differently…especially after being so worried after I told him about them being back together…/

Yamato stepped in through the door at that moment and froze."O-otousama…" he murmured, shocked at the sight of his father sitting on the couch."I thought you were leaving for a business trip tonight."/Kuso!Why now?Goddammit, why now?I can't do anything, I'm losing it again…I can't let him hurt Takeru!Dammit!Why the hell did this have to happen now?/

"It got canceled, Yamato," came the cool reply from his unmoving father.He seemed to be enjoying Yamato's discomfort, but at the same time, he was frowning and obviously disapproved of Takeru's appearance in the doorway.

"Takeru, maybe you should go home," Yamato softly whispered, his voice carefully controlled, not letting the fear he felt for his brother show."I'll call you later."It wasn't a request.It was an order.

Takeru looked between his brother and his father, trying to understand what was going on./This has something to do with the fact that Yamato doesn't want Mom and Dad seeing each other…but what?/Finally, he nodded, going out and closing the door behind him.

****************************

"Mom?I'm home!" Takeru shouted into the still house.

"That's nice, honey.I'm in here!" she called from the kitchen.She came out wearing her evening clothes, and Takeru felt his heart fall.

"You're going out again?" he tried not to sound resentful, but he found it hard to not feel that way.She'd been going out everyday for the past few months, leaving him at home by himself.Normally, he wouldn't have a problem with it, but he worried about her coming back now that he knew about Hikari's parents.And there was the matter of Yamato's strange reaction to the news about them together again.

"Yes.Oh, by the way, there's soup in the microwave.I'll be back late, so go to bed early, all right, sweet heart?" she asked as she flew out the door, not really caring what his response was.

"Fine…" Takeru responded to the door that slammed behind her, emitting a strangely strong bolt of pain in Takeru's heart.

He counted to thirty slowly before he let out the breath he'd been holding as the door had slammed shut.

"CHIKUSHO!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled, slamming his fist into a pillow.He'd had the world turned upside down when something was wrong with Yamato, and he'd finally fixed it.Suddenly, everything was back upside down with the appearance of his parents.

He began to think that maybe Hikari was luckier than she knew.Surely there could be some good things about not having parents, right?

He stormed off to his room to try to concentrate on homework, even though he knew it was impossible.Hopefully, Yamato would call soon and explain what was going on in this world.

*****************************

"I didn't realize you'd be home, Otousama…" Yamato tried to explain what had just happened.

"You didn't realize?So, since you thought I wouldn't be home, you thought you'd just bring that bastard in here?" he slapped Yamato across the face with enough force to send Yamato flying into the wall.

"He's not a bastard, Otousama," Yamato whispered as he was dragged to his feet.

"And when did you start talking with him again?I thought I forbade you to have any contact with him.That was something your mother and I agreed on!" he punched Yamato in the stomach as he yelled at him.

Yamato's eyes rose, defiant as always."And when did you start talking to her again?" he gasped, trying to get away from his father.

"Why the hell is that any of your fucking business?"

Yamato tried to keep from shrinking away as a knife was raised at him."I'll teach you to talk back to me, you damn bastard!"

"Otousama…" Yamato whispered through his accursed tears as pain shot through him, starting at his upper body, and trailing down his legs.

*********************

Taichi sat up straight in bed.Something was wrong.Horribly wrong."Hikari?" he called softly, walking down the hallway to her room.She was safe and sound asleep.Taichi shook his head.What was wrong with him tonight?

He glanced at the clock on the way down the hallway.11:55.On impulse, he picked up the phone and dialed Yamato's number, just to check on everything.Yamato never HAD answered his question after all…

"WHAT?!" came the voice on the other side.Taichi barely recognized Mr. Ishida's voice through the anger and the frustration.But that wasn't what caught his attention.What caught his attention was the soft sobbing he heard from the other side.

Taichi hung up the phone quickly, and dressed.There was no way that he could let Yamato be there alone.He'd promised after all.

He passed the table with the mail on it on his way out, and failed to notice the dark blood beginning to coat the wood.

----------------------------------------------------

Sorry it's kinda short, I'm doing my best though!


	5. Chapter 5: Sorrow and Lies

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY anime/manga series 

First of all, I'm sorry this took so long to come out…Fanfiction.net was down when I finished, and…well…I added. So sue me! Actually, please don't, see look there's the disclaimer… 

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY anime/manga series. Don't sue, I don't have any money…*sob* 

Onto what really counts…THE STORY! 

Trust 

By OmoideKeeper 

"Yama…" Taichi whispered as he gazed into the Ishida's window, tears filling his caramel eyes. He couldn't believe the gruesome sight that met his searching look, or that anyone could want to hurt another human being in the way that Yamato was being hurt. 

"Get up, you lazy son of a bitch!" Mr. Ishida's voice cut through the air as he kicked Yamato in the ribs, bringing forth a sickening crack and another sob from Yamato. "Get up and clean up this damn mess!" 

A tear slipped down Taichi's face as he watched Yamato laboriously pull himself to his feet, choking back tears that threatened to fall once again. "Otousama…" Yamato mumbled as he held himself upright by a chair, trying to staunch the blood flow from the various slashes adorning his chest. "Onegai…" he whispered softly, trying to gather his strength. 

Masaheru Ishida slapped Yamato and knocked him to the ground again. Taichi winced watching, and stopped trying to hold back the tears. He let them fall for Yamato and his pain. "Didn't I tell you not to talk back to me, you fucking bastard? Didn't I?" He pulled Yamato up and threw him against the wall, and Taichi heard a sickening crack of a bone breaking. "Now get to your damn room and stay there until I tell you to come out!" 

Yamato limped to his room, stumbling over his feet, and got punched for his trouble. Blood dripped to the floor, marking the path he walked. A whimper of pain escaped from his lips as he reached the wooden frame, and he leaned against it for a moment before opening it and walking inside. The door swung shut behind him, its thud sounding ominous in the cool, tainted, evening air. Masaheru looked annoyed for a moment, but shrugged and stormed off to his own room to contemplate what to do next. 

Taichi moved swiftly towards the shaded window where Yamato's room was after watching Masaheru disappear into another room. "Yama," he called softly, trying to avoid being detected by the general public, while trying to get Yamato's attention. Not an easy task, not even for the leader of the Digidestined. 

Yamato stiffened inside his room, barely hearing Taichi over his own muffled sobs. Panic overtook him for a moment, blocking out the pain. He couldn't let Taichi see him like this! What would he say? He certainly wouldn't think of him with the respect he'd shown him earlier. After tasting that respect, Yamato wasn't sure he could do without it. 

"Yama…please, talk to me," Taichi pleaded with the shade. He wiped his tears away, knowing that Yamato would never take to being pitied. 

"Go away, Taichi," came the muffled response from behind the glass, in a place so far away it seemed like a crueler, harsher world. Indeed, it was. Behind the window was Masaheru's domain, and everything in it belonged to him and him alone. Everything included Yamato. 

"No, Yama. I can't." Firm resolve entered Taichi's voice as he realized Yamato wasn't going to let him in without a fight. He knew too much rode on this, and he couldn't leave Yamato to face the pain alone. "I promised you I'd be your friend, and friends don't let things like that happen," he whispered, more to himself than to Yamato. Flashbacks of memories from the Digiworld ran rampant through his mind, from the time he and Yamato had fought, to the time the Keeper of Friendship and his Digi-partner had saved them from the evil Puppetmon. 

"Just go away, Taichi!" The reply was choked with sobs, and Taichi's heart almost broke listening to the stalwart Yamato reduced to this. It was so unfair! Anger rose up in him, and he tapped again on the window, trying to get Yamato's attention. 

But Taichi couldn't bear to leave his friend, even while being requested to. "No, Yama. Let me in." Taichi's voice became one of authority. 

Inside, Yamato shivered at the strength of Taichi's voice, and drew the shade aside for the first time in many years. 

--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Takeru paced around his room. He hadn't been able to go to sleep since his mom had left, and he desperately wanted Yamato to call. He knew there was something Yamato had been on the verge of telling him before they'd gotten back to the house, and he needed to know what it was. 

"Oniichan...you promised you'd call," Takeru whispered to the phone. Was it possible he'd misjudged that afternoon? Was Yamato still mad at him? Was there something he'd done wrong? Something he'd said? 

No, Yamato couldn't still be angry. If he had been, he wouldn't have invited Takeru to spend the night. Something about seeing their father had scared Yamato, just as much as the moment at which Takeru had told Yamato their parents were seeing each other again. 

"Oniichan…what's wrong? Why won't you call? Why won't you tell me?" Takeru asked the phone again. 

He froze in place for a second, contemplating what he was doing. "I'm talking to a phone." The words sounded so hollow, drifting on the air in the deserted apartment. Takeru shivered, suddenly feeling cold and alone. He needed to go out. 

He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. There had to be someone he could talk to about Yamato…but who? Who cared enough to listen? Who wouldn't mind being woken up at twelve in the morning? 

Certainly not Hikari. She seemed so stressed lately, Takeru couldn't bear to break into her time of peace. Taichi was out for the same reason…but he seemed to be worried about Yamato too. Maybe…just maybe…Yamato had a way back. Through Taichi. 

Takeru knew he couldn't do anything, but walked outside anyway, subconsciously walking toward the Kamiya residence. 

------------------------------------------------------------ 

Sora's eyes flew open. There was something going on, and she wanted to know about it. "Taichi, what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now?" she asked the ceiling with a groan. These feelings only came if Taichi was in trouble, and that was why she'd kept breaking up with him. 

It wasn't really fair to him, he had his own fair share of problems, but she hadn't had a decent night's sleep in such a long time, she was beginning to wonder if he didn't do this on purpose. She knew that thought wasn't fair, but she was more than annoyed. It was August, and she hadn't had a decent night's sleep since before January. 

Her mind kept returning to Taichi and the Digiworld, where she and Taichi walked hand in hand, surrounded by a little dinosaur and a pink bird. Those dreams were not ones she could afford. She needed to keep her mind on her studies. 

She slowly dragged herself out of bed and groggily walked over to the lamp. The bright light hitting her eyes reminded her of the time they'd all been turned into little bits of data, and had been sent to that…place. 

Tears filled her eyes as the memories threatened to consume her. No, she'd promised herself she'd stay focused. It wasn't time to be thinking of the other Digidestined, especially now that everyone was going their own separate ways. 

Koushirou had skipped several grades upon their return, and was heading to a college in another city within the next year. Jyou was now going to a boarding school in England, where he stayed year round, and never wrote to anyone. And Mimi was in America on a fashion shoot. She'd return every few months, but she never stopped to see her old friends anymore. 

Takeru was growing up, and he was very close to Hikari. Sora saw him on a regular basis if she was seeing Taichi, but that wasn't always. Hikari and Taichi were the same as ever. It was a relief to see them sometimes, but it was also painful. They were a constant reminder of how everyone else was changing. 

And there was Yamato. Sora pulled on her clothes on and sunk into a chair at the thought of Yamato. He was so difficult! So distant since they'd come back, and so wary while they were there. There was always something strange about Yamato, and she couldn't understand why Taichi insisted on being his friend. 

Sora sighed and wrote a note to her mother, warning her she'd gone out. She rose from her seat and walked outside, hoping for some fresh air before anything else happened. She knew she'd get no more sleep tonight. 

------------------------------------------- 

Koushirou paced around his room. He couldn't believe it. He'd lied. Not only had he lied, he'd lied to his FRIENDS. To make matters worse, he hadn't been telling a lie that would help them, nor a lie he hadn't been aware of. 

He'd known perfectly well it was a lie that he was moving to another town to go to college. True, he was going to college, but he was going here, in the same town. 

That brought up the question, why had he done it? Koushirou knew the answer to that question too. He wished he didn't, that it wasn't true, but he was afraid. 

He was afraid all his friends had changed. Actually, to be frank, he was afraid of how MUCH everyone had changed. He knew most of them had changed. 

Jyou had promised they'd stay in touch after he went to England, but there'd been no word from him, and Koushirou couldn't find any trace of him anywhere. Now, Koushirou didn't look anymore. He knew he wasn't wanted. He didn't force friendship on anyone who didn't want it. 

Mimi was…Mimi. She avoided people in the same way as Koushirou, by telling lie after lie to cover up other lies. She and Koushirou still talked, brought together by their common fear of everyone's changes. Together they supported one another's lies, and thought up ways to cover old ones. 

Sora and Taichi still tried to keep the others together, but everyone was drifting away. It was only natural, but Koushirou regretted how much it hurt the pair, even to the point where they spoke to few other people other than the Digidestined. 

Koushirou had heard Takeru and Hikari had gotten together, and wished them well. The younger pair deserved some happiness. Two innocents had been thrust into the Digiworld, and all its pain and struggles had been transferred to those two. 

And Yamato. Well, to tell the truth, Koushirou hadn't heard anything about Yamato. He knew Yamato was as distant as ever, but that was all. 

And because Koushirou didn't know anything about him, he decided to find out. He walked to his computer and turned it on. He began frantically searching the internet for a trace of what might have happened to Yamato…and, after a second of thought, what might have happened to Jyou. 

Document created with wvWare/wvWare version 0.6.7 -->


	6. Chapter 6: Another Step Inside Doom

Trust  
  
By OmoideKeeper  
  
Disclaimer:  I don't have any money, please don't sue!  This is for entertainment only!  
  
Hikari awoke to the feeling of something licking at her feet.  "...Miko, come on, let me sleep," she mumbled and turned over, trying to ignore the feeling and fall back into the depths of her slumber.  However, soon it grew and snaked up her legs.  She opened her eyes in frustration.  "Miko, I--Miko?" she asked shakily as she looked at her room.  It was filled with a dark liquid swarming over her furniture, blocking the doorway.  Her beloved cat lay dead on the surface of the dark pool.  
  
She tried to find a way down from the top bunk, searching for her brother, but she couldn't find a trace of him.  She took a deep breath, steadying herself.  There had to be a way out.  The window and the door were both blocked, and the liquid streamed in higher and higher.  
  
A sob caught in her throat as she realized the liquid was blood, cool and dark.  Tears began to run down her cheeks as she finally accepted she was trapped, and about to be drowned in a pool of blood.  
  
No!  There had to be a way out!  She was a member of the Digidestined, and she wouldn't be defeated that easily!  She still had to get back to her brother, to tell Takeru she loved him...so much more to do, she couldn't die now!  She took a deep breath, and dove into the cool black liquid.  
  
She felt her way around, searching for the doorway out of the bloody mess, and finally was rewarded by the feeling of the firm metal.  She opened the door and was shocked to find she was still surrounded by the blood.  Was there no end to this?  
  
She opened her eyes and saw a burst of light coming from her pocket.  The Digivice she hadn't seen in years shone forth, lighting her way to a window.  She forced it open through sheer strength of knowing she was going to die if she didn't find a way out soon.  As she fell towards the earth below, she fleetingly realized there was something clutched in her hand.  
  
A white letter, unstained by the blood contained in her apartment.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Taichi stepped into Yamato's room, first noticing the absence of anything making it uniquely Yamato's, except for one photograph placed on top of the dresser.  The picture taken in the Digiworld, of all of them standing there, smiling. The rest of the room seemed so empty, so lifeless.so much like a prison. Was that how Yamato viewed his world? Just a prison he could never escape from? Taichi shuddered as he wondered if Yamato had ever thought of suicide. He knew he'd thought of it enough lately and he'd never been through anything like Yamato.  
  
"Yama..." Taichi whispered, trying to find the words to express what he felt.  Instead of saying anything, he reached out his hand and placed it on Yamato's shoulder, silently offering his support if it would be taken. He no longer wanted any information from Yama, just a signal he was all right, a signal he would heal.  
  
Yamato shivered, but didn't pull away from the touch.  Taichi had to admire him for his courage.  If he had gone through what Yamato had, nothing would keep him still while someone did that.  
  
Yamato's eyes fell on the phone in his room and mentally he smacked himself.  He took a few breaths to steady himself and picked up the phone.  
  
"Yamato, what're you doing?" Taichi asked, wondering what would cause Yamato to get up while in this much pain.  
  
Yamato didn't respond, but waited for a moment, listening to the other end of the phone.  Finally, he sighed and hung up, a look of defeat crowning his once proud face.  
  
"Yamato...who were you calling?"  
  
There was silence for a moment, and Yamato responded.  "Takeru." Yamato broke down as a tear streamed down his face, a crystal track of pain. "I promised him I'd call."  
  
Taichi's heart broke watching Yamato, and he gently squeezed his shoulder. "It's ok, Yama.I'm sure Takeru will understand."  
  
"No! You don't understand, Taichi! I promised!"  
  
"Yama.Takeru will be ok. He wouldn't want you to go through more pain just because of him. You have to calm down."  
  
Yamato shivered, and nodded.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Takeru's mind drifted, as he wondered what had gone wrong with his life. He had been the bearer of the Crest of Hope. He'd had great friends, and he'd been at peace with himself. He'd been accepted by those older than himself, he'd been loved by his older brother. He'd had a life where he knew who he was, a life in which he could relax and be himself.  
  
So where had it all gone wrong? After coming back from the Digiworld, everyone and everything kind of.broke up. The older kids had gone to the same school, but.sometimes it seemed as though that summer had never happened. Everyone lived their own lives. It wasn't as though Takeru didn't WANT them to have their own lives. Strictly speaking, that was the last thing he wanted. What he did want was for them to get along.  
  
Taichi and Sora had finally gotten together.and broken up again. Their relationship was tumultuous, and they always seemed to have something in between them. They didn't seem to realize their relationship was just like the Digidestined as a whole. They were friends, but they weren't. They were there for each other, but they weren't.  
  
This group of friends who had once been so close were now drifting apart, had been drifting apart for a while. Even going so far as to lie to one another. Takeru scoffed as he thought this. He knew a lie as soon as he heard one, a trait of his he'd picked up. He'd heard the falseness in Koushirou's voice as he explained why he couldn't see everyone, why he was going to be so busy and out of touch.  
  
Takeru didn't blame Koushirou. Everyone had to have their secrets.but he DID want to be included. Both Koushirou and Mimi never spoke without including a lie. It seemed as though they were too afraid of being caught by their old ones to ever stop lying. Takeru found it a bit disturbing.  
  
He was shaken out of his thoughts by the view of a young girl falling from her window at the Kamiya's building, clutching an envelope in her hand. _HIKARI~~~~~~~~!!!_ his mind screamed as he raced to catch her before her delicate frame shattered on the concrete below, like a gentle crystal goblet.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Sora walked, trying to sort out her feelings. She DID love Taichi. She knew she did. But she couldn't exactly understand why the stupid idiot did what he did. Or why she was so worried about every little thing he got himself into. It wasn't as if she was married to him or anything. It wasn't as if she should be constantly worried about him.  
  
After all, he never worried about her. However, she couldn't shake the feeling Taichi was in some sort of danger. She laughed at that. As if he could ever get himself into any kind of danger he'd need her help in. Taichi would never admit to being in any sort of trouble. Well, actually, he was a little better than some.  
  
Her mind drifted to Yamato, the stubborn fool who just wouldn't listen to anyone or ever ask for any form of help. He seemed to think it was a crime to ask for help.especially if he was the one doing the asking. However, Sora knew there were so many things which Yamato needed to share.so why did he resist the gestures of friendship everyone tried to send to him?  
  
Sora began walking towards Koushirou's house, not quite knowing who else to go to. Even if he wasn't there anymore, it would be comforting to just go by, to see a familiar house again. To walk in the midst of so many bittersweet memories that would never come again.  
  
-----------------------  
  
Koushirou gasped. It couldn't have been this simple. Someone had wanted him to find this information. Someone had deliberately planted the information so he could find it, so he could use it, so he could tell the others.  
  
He got up from his chair and began pacing. There had to be a connection. Somewhere out there, there was another letter being circulated. He thought he'd ended it with the one he'd sealed in the jar at the back of his bookcase, but the letters spelling doom were back. One way or another, he'd have to deal with it.  
  
A chill ran through him as he began rummaging through the bookcase to find the letter, to see if anything had changed over the months he'd had it. He gaped in horror as soon as he found the jar he'd locked it in, staring through the clear glass, at the locks which bound a now empty cylinder. 


	7. Chapter 7: A Late Night Conversation

Trust

A Late Night Conversation

By OmoideKeeper

* * *

Sorry I haven't updated in so long, Minna! I've been working on my other stories (not Digimon ones, sorry) and I almost forgot about this one! If I do that sometimes, please e-mail me and remind me that I still haven't finished this one! Well, Jyou enters. Sorry, Taichi and Yamato fans, they're not in this one. ;_; I know, I love them too. But this was getting long, so here it is. 

* * *

Why the heck was he here? There wasn't really any point in his returning to Odaiba. There wasn't anything there for him anymore. All his friends had changed or somehow become...less like the people he remembered. It was almost as if there never had been a Digiworld, a Digidestined team, a time when they'd all been kids trying to do what was right. 

Jyou clenched and unclenched his fist, a habit he'd found himself doing more and more since he'd left the boarding school he'd been staying at in England. He was supposed to have finished college there, but...he'd lost interest, gotten bad grades, and left before he could be kicked out. Well, no one ever said he was as smart as Koushirou was. 

Damn. There he was thinking about them again. Thinking about Koushirou again. 

He'd deliberately hidden his whereabouts, even from--especially from--the ever seeking Koushirou who seemed to be searching for him almost everyday. Jyou had wanted him to stop. Even so...it struck a chord in Jyou when Koushirou had ceased looking for him. Almost like his friend had given up on him. But that wasn't the important thing. 

He'd been watching his friends from a distance, watching them change, watching them--Koushirou and Mimi mostly, but all of them to some extent--lie about their lives. Of course, there were those times he wanted to step in, to help them through whatever was going on. That was only natural. 

But how could he face them? How could he go to them and say, ok, I'm here, what's wrong? 

Well, at least he wasn't the only one who was living a lie. 

His computer beeped once, notifying him that he had a new instant message. While he wasn't as skilled as Koushirou with technology, he did have some skill, and he used it whenever he could. 

**ComputerWhizKid4: **Jyou, is that you?   
**DontRelyOnMe6: **Who's this?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Koushirou. Remember me?   
**DontRelyOnMe6: **Yeah. It's me. 

Did he remember him? Of course not. That's why he thought about him everyday. 

**ComputerWhizKid4:** You've been gone for awhile, Jyou.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Guess so.   
**ComputerWhizKid4: **You ok, Jyou? 

Couldn't he just get to the point on why he started looking for him? 

**DontRelyOnMe6:** Fine.   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...Interesting sn you've got.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** What about it?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Nothing, just thinking about it.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Any reason you wanted to talk?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...Would you rather I left you out? 

Jyou shook his head. Koushirou was worrying about him? 

**DontRelyOnMe6:** Whatever.   
**ComputerWhizKid4: **No, seriously, Jyou, do you want me to leave you out of this?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Whatever.   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Jyou, what's wrong?! 

Jyou didn't answer for a moment. There was so much he wanted to say. There wasn't anything he COULD say. 

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Jyou?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Nothing.   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Jyou, listen. There's been some problems lately...   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** And?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** I know, you probably don't want to get involved, but I wanted to know if you could come back to Odaiba for a little bit. 

What irony. 

**DontRelyOnMe6:** And?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** I...kinda wanted your help with something.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** What?   
**ComputerWhizKid4: **I don't want to burden you with it if you're not interested, Jyou.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Tell me.   
**ComputerWhizKid4: **...I was doing some research on some people.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Me. And...someone else. Yamato?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Kind of...   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** And?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** I found out some stuff on Yamato, but...I wanted your help. But if you don't want to come back to Odaiba it's ok.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** I'm already in Odaiba. 

* * *

**DontRelyOnMe6:** I'm already in Odaiba. 

Koushirou stared at the words on the screen, then laughed a bit bitterly. Of course Jyou was back in Odaiba. That made so much sense. Well, maybe he'd be able to help anyway. Maybe they'd be able to clear this whole mess up. 

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Oh.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Mad at me yet?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** No. 

Koushirou was a little surprised to find that was the truth. How could he really be mad at Jyou? There wasn't really a reason. He hadn't lied about it, he'd just not told anyone. Better than Koushirou himself. Better than Mimi too. 

**DontRelyOnMe6:** What did you want me to do?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** ...If you're already here, why don't you come over?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** It's the middle of the night.   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** I guess you're right. 

Besides, Koushirou thought, what am I doing inviting Jyou to my house? He shook his head. He didn't want to admit the hope he'd had that Jyou would've remained the same. Instead, Jyou had turned cynical, almost like Yamato had been back in the Digiworld. 

**DontRelyOnMe6:** What do you want me to do, Koushirou?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Maybe you could help me with something.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Yeah?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** How much do you know about the Ishida's?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Not much. 

Koushirou sighed. Was he going to have to pry every word out of Jyou? 

**DontRelyOnMe6:** What do you need to know?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** I...found out some stuff about Yamato's dad, and I wanted to know if you could check it up for me.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** About what?   
**ComputerWhizKid4: **Well, about the divorce his dad and mom had.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Messy divorce. 

It took a while before Koushirou was able to type a reply, he was so shocked at that. 

**ComputerWhizKid4: **How do you know that?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** You're not the only one who's nosy, Koushirou.   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** So...what do you know?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** What do you know? 

He should've known Jyou wouldn't give in that easily. 

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Well...apparently, there was a bit of a fight over the custody of the two kids--Yamato and Takeru--and they each got one kid, but we already knew that. What I'm not sure about is why the split. From all the records I've gotten, they had a pretty happy family before the split. A lot of people were shocked by it.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** So, you want to know about the split?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Basically...   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** How far back? 

So, Jyou knew more than he let on. Koushirou was a little surprised he was getting this much out of him. First he didn't want to be found, now he was being more than helpful. Who said the Digidestined weren't strange? 

**ComputerWhizKid4:** Well...as much as you know...   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Fine. I'll e-mail it to you later.   
**ComputerWhizKid4: **Wait!   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** What?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Come over to my house. Please?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** What for?   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Just...to talk.   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Fine. I'll be over in a little bit.   
**ComputerWhizKid4:** Promise?   
**DontRelyOnMe6:** Yeah. 

Koushirou sighed. Well, at least he'd gotten that much out of him. And at least he'd be able to-- 

A soft knock at his window shook him out of his thoughts, and he opened it slowly, faster when he realized it was Jyou at the window. "I thought you'd use the door," he whispered as Jyou entered cautiously. Did Jyou live this close, that he could show up in that short a time span? 

"And risk waking your parents?" Jyou asked, also keeping his voice low. 

"Well..." 

"You wanted to know about Yamato's parents?" 

"Yeah..." 

"Listen, then," Jyou whispered fiercely, and they both sat on the floor together. "The split happened because of a couple reasons. Number one, money. They weren't making enough money to support Yamato and Takeru, and his mom got angry. She thought that Masaheru--Yamato's dad--was spending all the money. Which he was, to an extent. Number two, Masaheru had a hot temper. He tended to break inanimate objects--which is where most of the money went--and Yamato's mom got scared." 

"So why's it so messy?" Koushirou asked, not quite understanding what was going on, or how Jyou knew all this. It didn't make any sense. 

"Go to a couple of days after the divorce was finalized and custody determined. I'm not sure on the details," Jyou admitted, "but Yamato ended up in the hospital with a cut that needed stitches and bruises all over his body. The reason given was that he was beaten up on his way home." 

"You don't believe it?" 

"Not with Masaheru's history of his temper." 

Koushirou stared at his friend. "You think Yamato's been abused by his FATHER?" 

"It looks that way to me." 

* * *

Review please, the more reviews, the faster I'll get out the next one! I promise! 


	8. Chapter 8: Can I Trust You?

Trust

Can I Trust You?

By OmoideKeeper

* * *

ALL RIGHT!!!!! I hope everyone is satisfied by this. I'm going to put a BIT of shounen-ai between Yama-chan and Taichi, ne? But, there might still be a LITTLE Taiora, just because. And I'm probably going to have a bit of Jyoushirou too. And Takari. And if you want anything else as a pairing, please ask in the review section, because there's a ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine (etc.) chance you'll get it. Oh, and until the end of May, if you submit a review or write me an e-mail (OmoideKeeper@aol.com) and ask for a specific fic (plot, charas, pairings, etc.) then I'll try to write it, ne? So, go ahead. It can be for anything that I know about, or that you'll give me a place where I can learn about it. Not just limited to Digi-fics. Ok, I know, boring, where's the story? Right here. Thanks, minna! 

* * *

Arms slowly encircled Yamato, and he looked up with a mixture of surprise and a tinge of fear within his shattered sapphire eyes. "T-Taichi?" Yamato asked, voice shaking slightly. Taichi, their brave leader when they traveled to the Digital World all those years ago, Taichi, the one who tried his best to take care of everyone, Taichi was doing what?! 

"Shh, Yama," Taichi soothed, pulling his friend a little closer. Yamato shook even more in his arms, and Taichi did his best to calm him. "Relax. It's ok. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Yama. I promise he's not going to hurt you again." 

"YAMATO!!! WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON IN THERE?!" Masaheru's voice cut through the door, and Yamato's trembling increased to the point where Taichi could barely hold onto him. 

"Don't you believe me, Yama?" Taichi asked softly. 

Staring into the deep brown eyes of the other youth, Yamato felt his trembling increase a bit under the gaze of his friend, his best friend, his only friend. Could he truly trust Taichi? Could he trust him to the point where he would be able to ever believe that anyone could stop his father? And if he didn't, who could he trust? What could he believe? 

"I don't know," Yamato whispered, and a look of pain shot over Taichi's face. "Taichi...I..." 

That genki smile came over Taichi's face, and he gently stroked back a golden lock of hair from Yamato's face. A single tender gesture which somehow soothed Yamato in a way nothing else could've. A simple movement of the hand which brought him a measure of peace and security. "Don't worry, Yama. I'll make you believe me. I'll prove it to you, ok?" 

Fear surged through Yamato, though he did his best to keep it from reaching his face. What had happened to the mask he used to wear? He knew it hadn't been long ago when he'd just been able to just grit his teeth and bear it, to just ignore everything else as long as he was alive. He knew it hadn't been long ago he'd been able to fool people into thinking he was just the cold idiot. 

And then he'd told Taichi. And his frozen mask which had served him for so many long years in and out had fallen apart. And now he was afraid for Taichi, afraid of what would happen if Taichi confronted Yamato's father, afraid of what would happen if Taichi tried to be the strength of everyone, afraid for Taichi that his parents would never return. 

"Taichi..." Yamato swallowed hard. How could he just tell this to Taichi? It wasn't something that most people really thought about doing, they just did, he supposed. But he couldn't do that. He had to try to do something though, even though he couldn't go out and say, 'I want you to understand, I think...' "You should probably go..." Now he had to try to protect Taichi. If he was found in Yamato's room, who knew what Masaheru would do to him? 

"YAMATO!!!!!" 

Taichi stared at him for a moment after the silence returned, then shook his head in disbelief that Yamato would even consider it. "Not a chance, Yama. I'm not leaving you alone with him." 

Yamato suddenly realized he'd tried to protect Taichi all along. He'd told Taichi that the abuse had stopped. It wasn't quite a lie. When he'd said it to Taichi, there was nothing going on, but there was always the bruises, the fear, the pain. It was part of his life. There had never been anything life threatening, not like that long gash, but there had always been Masaheru, and with him, the pain. 

"This hasn't stopped at all since that first night, has it?" Taichi asked softly, his eyes full of understanding all at once. 

Yamato couldn't help his head from shaking. 

Anger came over Taichi's face, and Yamato forced himself to stay put and not shrink back, even though it seemed any moment now Taichi would burst and hit him, kick him, do something. But Taichi's words surprised Yamato: "Damn him." 

"W-What?" Yamato asked in shock. 

"Your father. Damn him." Taichi got up and began pacing back and forth. 

"Taichi?" 

"He has no right to do this to someone like you..." 

"Taichi?" 

"...someone so strong, someone so good, someone so..." 

"Taichi?" 

"...so..." Taichi trailed off, and silence entered the room once again. 

"So...what?" Yamato asked, a mixture of apprehension and curiosity in his eyes. 

Taichi stopped in front of Yamato, and looked deeply into those eyes which seemed so brilliant in the meager light of the room, the prison. "So beautiful," he finished, raising a hand to gently brush away a droplet of blood, stopping mid-way for fear of being rejected by the other youth. 

* * *

"So beautiful," he finished, raising his hand, his fingers wanting to brush away the drop of blood which didn't mar the loveliness of Yamato's face, but instead actually enhanced it, giving him the appearance of an angel who has attended the Lord at the Cross. He stopped himself in time, realizing Yamato would probably dislike--or hate it if he assumed that much about him. 

"B-beautiful?" Yamato asked in shock and bewilderment. 

A smile came over Taichi's face as he nodded. So lovely when he had that almost innocent expression on his face, so gentle, so caught in the moment. How could Yamato not see how beautiful he was? When he saw Yamato, he could think of nothing else. If he saw a picture of perfection, it would be Yamato's face in the center. "Beautiful, gorgeous, perfect..." Was it fair of him to be doing this now? No, probably not, but Taichi couldn't resist in that moment. 

Yamato shook his head, looking down at the floor, and Taichi pushed his chin up until they were looking eye to eye again. He paused a moment, savoring the time to just stare into those sapphire orbs, savoring the moment as it was, finally breaking the silence by repeating his last word. "Perfect." 

"No," Yamato shook his head again, but this time with more confidence in both his words and his gesture. This time he didn't look away as he said it, instead kept his gaze locked on Taichi's. 

"OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW, YAMATO!!!" 

"No," Yamato repeated, ignoring his father for the moment. 

"I'M WARNING YOU, YAMATO, YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR AND YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT!!!" 

"I'm not perfect," he continued, holding up a hand when Taichi tried to interject with a denial of that statement. 

"F*CK YOU, YAMATO, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" 

"You are perfect," Yamato finished, glancing at the door now. Before Taichi could answer, he motioned to the window. "Go. Please." 

"YAMATO!!!" 

"But what about you?" Taichi asked, staring at him in shock and amazement. Had Yamato really just said that about him? "I can't leave without you!" 

"YAMATO, I'M GIVING YOU TILL THE COUNT OF THREE!!! 

"I'll be fine," Yamato reassured him, trying to be sure of himself. 

"ONE!!!" 

"Like hell you will!" Taichi whispered furiously. 

"TWO!!!" 

"He'll kill you!" 

"THREE!!!" 

"Go!!!" Yamato shoved Taichi towards the window. "Taichi, let me do this. Find Takeru for me, and tell him...tell him I'm sorry." 

"DAMNIT, YAMATO!!!" 

"Come with me!" Taichi hissed as he balanced on the windowsill, not letting go of Yamato's hand. 

The sound of a door splintering broke in, and Yamato glanced over there. 

"If I do, he'll know someone was here. Just go. I'll...I'll be fine." 

"YAMATO, YOU BASTARD, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" 

"I can't let you do this!" Taichi replied fiercely, clinging onto Yamato. 

"GET THE F*CK OUT OF THERE, BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR, YOU'RE GOING TO BE F*CKING SORRY!!!" 

"You're already breaking the door," Yamato whispered to himself, then turned to Taichi. "Go. I'll be fine. And...then...we'll talk. Ok?" 

"I'm not--" 

"You'll only make it worse, Taichi!" 

Pain shot through Taichi's heart, but at the same time he knew Yamato was right. "I'm going to wait for you outside. And if he does ANYTHING to you," he whispered with conviction, "I'm going to kill him." 

A small smile reached Yamato's face, but not his eyes. "Ok...just go." 

"Promise me you're going to be all right," Taichi begged, hating what he was about to do to his friend, his perfect one, his world. 

"I promise," Yamato whispered, but they both knew it was a lie. 

Taichi disappeared just as Masaheru burst in. 

* * *

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THEM NEXT? Who knows? Why are you asking me? You think **I** know? Ha! Only my muse knows! Right, Jab? 

Jab: How should I know? 

Um...Pay him no mind! Please read and review, and remember, almost any fics requested before the end of May (or fifteen fic requests that i can't combine at one time whichever is first) And remember, you can submit pairings for this fic...and if enough people want, i'll enter Mimi, though I wasn't planning on it... 

R&R!!! 


	9. Chapter 9: Secrets Within

Trust

Secrets Within

* * *

Once again, sorry Taichi/Yamato fans, back to Jyou and Koushirou...I will get the plot out sometime, and so sorry this took so long to come out...I'll be more prompt in the future, I swear! I've been having a minor crisis at my house, so this one's not as good...and extra warnings, this part's rated PG-13 to R because of what Jyou says in the second half...and I'll write this part over with a lemon, but with a warning so you don't have to read it if you don't want to. Dark, angst, and MUCH EVILNESS. 

* * *

Silent for a moment following Jyou's statement, Koushirou cast his eyes downwards to the ground wondering what to say next, wondering how to ask Jyou what the hell had happened to him to change him into this bitter cold person before him. There wasn't really a way, he decided, and chose the easiest path he could see in that moment. "Jyou? Why did you stay away for so long?" he asked, eyes still trained on the floor, finding it preferable than staring into those consuming eyes Jyou held. 

A long silence met his ever so important question, and Koushirou inwardly sighed in frustration and a tinge of annoyance. So, they were back to this? There had to be some way to cut through the shell Jyou had built around him... 

"It wasn't as if anyone cared," Jyou's voice cut through Koushirou, a knife in his soul, shredding his hope. Glancing up he saw Jyou shrug, his eyes hidden behind his bangs that had been grown out almost specifically for that purpose. 

"I cared," Koushirou heard himself whisper before he could help himself. Hearing only silence, he prayed Jyou hadn't heard him, hadn't understood the words murmured in a moment of lost control. Idiot, idiot, IDIOT! You're friends, Koushirou reminded himself sternly, FRIENDS...and friends don't fall in love with each other. Not like that. They can love each other for being FRIENDS, but not for anything else! That ruins the purpose of friendship! 

"Did you really care?" Jyou suddenly asked, all the bitterness quite evident in his voice. "You can't mean what you're saying. After all, you never bothered to find out why I left, although you had ways you could've, if you'd bothered to care enough to go and check any of it out. And what about your boyfriend? What about Hiroshi? I think you must've cared more about him, didn't you?" Jyou flung the verbal barbs at Koushirou, almost daring him to speak, daring him to deny it. 

Koushirou winced. So...was that part of it, of why he'd grown so far apart from the rest of them? Jyou was angry because Koushirou had had a boyfriend, and hadn't told him? But...it hadn't been like that. He hadn't been trying to hurt Jyou. He would NEVER have done that! 

It wasn't as if anyone else had known! So, how had Jyou found out about Hiroshi? It hadn't been anything serious either, just the movies and a few kisses exchanged between them, but nothing else except for that one time... Why was Jyou so upset? Wasn't Koushirou free to do what he liked with his life? And it wasn't as if Koushirou was with Hiroshi anymore. They remained friends, but as far as dating went, they'd never trod on that area again once Koushirou had broken it off. 

After all, Koushirou remembered, it hadn't been fair to Hiroshi. Not when he was still thinking about what could've been with Jyou... 

Shocked at his own thought, he didn't dare look at Jyou now, feeling the blush coating his cheeks. God, he was such an IDIOT! He wasn't in love with Jyou! Had he just thought that? Oh God, oh God, no, he didn't care for Jyou like that. They were friends. Just good friends! But...hadn't he loved Hiroshi so much because of his startling resemblance to the boy--no, the young man before him? 

"So. It's true," Jyou's voice drifted over softly, sadly ringing through the air on wings of molten silver. He sighed, then laughed a little bitterly, the tone of his voice so unlike him it seemed to cut Koushirou's world, leaving him alone and bleeding, unable to ask for help from the only person he wanted it from. "Well, I guess he was telling the truth then, wasn't he." It wasn't a question. Another bitter laugh, and Koushirou felt Jyou getting up to leave. "I'll see you around, Koushirou." 

"Jyou..." 

"Yes?" 

"Why are you so mad at me?!" Koushirou burst out angrily. What right did Jyou have to get mad about that? It had been a little fling, nothing big, and besides, since when did Jyou care about that?! "All right, so Hiroshi and I went out a couple times--" 

"Two years." 

"What?" What was Jyou saying? What was he talking about? Did Koushirou really want to find out, or was he just stalling? 

"Two years, wasn't it?" Jyou was the one to look away this time. "That's what he told me, at least." 

"Where'd you see him?!" Koushirou shot out, desperate to prove Jyou wrong, even if with every word his heart choked and strangled on the web of lies and half-truths he'd spun. If only there was something he could say, something he could do to stop Jyou's voice, stop the pain raging through his slender frame. "How do you know about Hiroshi?!" 

A virulent smile touched Jyou then, and he glanced into Koushirou's startlingly tear filled eyes. "He's my cousin, Koushirou. My cousin, Kido Hiroshi." 

* * *

He hated saying those words, hated himself, and hated Koushirou...but mostly he hated Hiroshi. Every time Jyou had found some happiness, Hiroshi had managed to steal it. The same age, the same coloring, but Hiroshi's obvious confidence, the two cousins appeared to get along better than brothers. Ha, Jyou scoffed, as if. Jyou'd hidden the Digidestined from Hiroshi for that purpose, of being able to have something Hiroshi wouldn't steal from him...but then the day came.__

_ "Jyou, you won't guess who I was just at the movies with, who I had begging me to f*ck him," Hiroshi had pranced into the room, eyes dancing with the probability of killing Jyou's happiness again and again. Jyou hated that look in his eyes.___

_ "What do you want, Hiroshi?" Jyou sighed, knowing it was faster to just play along with Hiroshi's little games.___

_ "Your little friend, Izumi."___

_ "Liar," Jyou snarled, rising from his seat in anger. "Koushirou would never go anywhere with a bastard like you."___

_ "Oh really, Jyou? He's been with me for the past two months, Jyou-kun, and today was our two month anniversary. Didn't you know that? Oh, you didn't? I thought you were the best of friends! You want to see proof?"___

_ Jyou hadn't wanted anything but to sink into the ground and die in a miserable ball.___

_ "Here!" Hiroshi lay out a card in front of Jyou, picking it up when the Digidestined hadn't touched it. "'My Hiroshi,_   
_ 'I love you with all my heart, and I pray that you feel the same way. Thank you for making these past two months magical for me. Zutto aishiteru._   
_ 'Izumi Koushirou.' Isn't that so sweet?"___

"He never told you, Koushirou? That's just like him." Jyou turned away from Koushirou. "He spends his time making my life worse than hell." _But at the same time_, Jyou thought to himself, _he makes me enjoy the rest of life more..._ "He told me once that he wanted to just f*ck you and leave you, but then he thought it would be more fun if he played games with you. 

"I left town because I couldn't stand to listen to Hiroshi anymore, gloating over all those times you spent with him, and telling me every detail of what the two of you did." 

"Every detail?" Koushirou asked, his voice quivering. 

"Down to how you sounded screaming his name when he took you that one time," Jyou shot out, emotionless. What did it matter what he said anymore? Koushirou wouldn't care in the end, he'd find someone to talk to. "He said you begged him to f*ck you all the time, and when he finally did, you acted like a little whore, moaning and--" 

"Stop!" Koushirou shouted, and Jyou felt mild surprise at the tears falling from Koushirou's eyes. He fell silent, keeping his eyes trained on Koushirou, wondering why he'd ever thought he could see Koushirou again after hearing Hiroshi's tales. 

Silence reigned, and Jyou found himself remembering Hiroshi's laughter when he'd found out Jyou was leaving. _"Good riddence, and I'll make sure to take care of Koushirou for you..._" 

"I didn't think you were so cruel, Jyou..." 

"Cruel?" Jyou asked. "Me? Trust me, Koushirou, I'm just returning the favor. How do you think I felt, knowing you were with my cousin, his little screw-toy? And I couldn't say anything because you'd never told me. You didn't trust me enough to tell me anything. So I kept your little secret, and Hiroshi told me everything." Were there tears slipping down his cheeks too? He thought he'd cried all he could over Koushirou...but apparently not. 

"You can't deny any of it, can you, Koushirou?" Jyou asked slowly, giving the other boy time to interrupt if he wanted to. Another bitter laugh. "If there's one thing that can be said for Hiroshi, it's that he tells the truth. Especially if he knows it'll kill someone else." Turning to Koushirou, forcing their eyes to meet, Jyou continued. "Did you know that I almost did kill myself, Koushirou?" he asked, staring deep. "I tried. I cut my wrists, watching the blood fall onto that nice little picture we all took in the DigiWorld. But Hiroshi found me. He wouldn't let me die. He said he wasn't done with me yet." 

"Jyou..." Koushirou seemed to search for words, and Jyou laughed again. 

"And I came back to Odaiba after all this time, wanting to see everyone else one more time, wanting to see YOU one more time before I killed myself. And this time I was going to succeed. I had a gun," Jyou pulled it out of his pocket, taking in Koushirou's shock with a measured gaze. "And I was going to kill myself. But then you wanted to talk to me." 

"Jyou..." 

"So here I am. And we've talked. And now you know. Good-bye, Koushirou." Jyou lept out the window and ran, not daring to look back at the boy who'd given him life and destroyed it. 

* * *

I am SO evil... 


	10. Chapter 9: Secrets Within Citrusy

Trust

Secrets Within

* * *

Sorry, minna, but this is the same as the last chapter, but with some citrusy content. I'm really sorry, I couldn't really think of anything to do, so this is me screwing around. Um... please, ignore this if you don't like citrus parts, or don't know what that means... High R to NC-17 content... yes... feel free to flame if you think I'm screwing this up... 

* * *

Silent for a moment following Jyou's statement, Koushirou cast his eyes downwards to the ground wondering what to say next, wondering how to ask Jyou what the hell had happened to him to change him into this bitter cold person before him. There wasn't really a way, he decided, and chose the easiest path he could see in that moment. "Jyou? Why did you stay away for so long?" he asked, eyes still trained on the floor, finding it preferable than staring into those consuming eyes Jyou held. 

A long silence met his ever so important question, and Koushirou inwardly sighed in frustration and a tinge of annoyance. So, they were back to this? There had to be some way to cut through the shell Jyou had built around him... 

"It wasn't as if anyone cared," Jyou's voice cut through Koushirou, a knife in his soul, shredding his hope. Glancing up he saw Jyou shrug, his eyes hidden behind his bangs that had been grown out almost specifically for that purpose. 

"I cared," Koushirou heard himself whisper before he could help himself. Hearing only silence, he prayed Jyou hadn't heard him, hadn't understood the words murmured in a moment of lost control. Idiot, idiot, IDIOT! You're friends, Koushirou reminded himself sternly, FRIENDS...and friends don't fall in love with each other. Not like that. They can love each other for being FRIENDS, but not for anything else! That ruins the purpose of friendship! 

"Did you really care?" Jyou suddenly asked, all the bitterness quite evident in his voice. "You can't mean what you're saying. After all, you never bothered to find out why I left, although you had ways you could've, if you'd bothered to care enough to go and check any of it out. And what about your boyfriend? What about Hiroshi? I think you must've cared more about him, didn't you?" Jyou flung the verbal barbs at Koushirou, almost daring him to speak, daring him to deny it. 

Koushirou winced. So...was that part of it, of why he'd grown so far apart from the rest of them? Jyou was angry because Koushirou had had a boyfriend, and hadn't told him? But...it hadn't been like that. He hadn't been trying to hurt Jyou. He would NEVER have done that! 

It wasn't as if anyone else had known! So, how had Jyou found out about Hiroshi? It hadn't been anything serious either, just the movies and a few kisses exchanged between them, but nothing else except for that one time... Why was Jyou so upset? Wasn't Koushirou free to do what he liked with his life? And it wasn't as if Koushirou was with Hiroshi anymore. They remained friends, but as far as dating went, they'd never trod on that area again once Koushirou had broken it off. 

After all, Koushirou remembered, it hadn't been fair to Hiroshi. Not when he was still thinking about what could've been with Jyou... 

Shocked at his own thought, he didn't dare look at Jyou now, feeling the blush coating his cheeks. God, he was such an IDIOT! He wasn't in love with Jyou! Had he just thought that? Oh God, oh God, no, he didn't care for Jyou like that. They were friends. Just good friends! But...hadn't he loved Hiroshi so much because of his startling resemblance to the boy--no, the young man before him? 

"So. It's true," Jyou's voice drifted over softly, sadly ringing through the air on wings of molten silver. He sighed, then laughed a little bitterly, the tone of his voice so unlike him it seemed to cut Koushirou's world, leaving him alone and bleeding, unable to ask for help from the only person he wanted it from. "Well, I guess he was telling the truth then, wasn't he." It wasn't a question. Another bitter laugh, and Koushirou felt Jyou getting up to leave. "I'll see you around, Koushirou." 

"Jyou..." 

"Yes?" 

"Why are you so mad at me?!" Koushirou burst out angrily. What right did Jyou have to get mad about that? It had been a little fling, nothing big, and besides, since when did Jyou care about that?! "All right, so Hiroshi and I went out a couple times--" 

"Two years." 

"What?" What was Jyou saying? What was he talking about? Did Koushirou really want to find out, or was he just stalling? 

"Two years, wasn't it?" Jyou was the one to look away this time. "That's what he told me, at least." 

"Where'd you see him?!" Koushirou shot out, desperate to prove Jyou wrong, even if with every word his heart choked and strangled on the web of lies and half-truths he'd spun. If only there was something he could say, something he could do to stop Jyou's voice, stop the pain raging through his slender frame. "How do you know about Hiroshi?!" 

A virulent smile touched Jyou then, and he glanced into Koushirou's startlingly tear filled eyes. "He's my cousin, Koushirou. My cousin, Kido Hiroshi." 

* * *

He hated saying those words, hated himself, and hated Koushirou...but mostly he hated Hiroshi. Every time Jyou had found some happiness, Hiroshi had managed to steal it. The same age, the same coloring, but Hiroshi's obvious confidence, the two cousins appeared to get along better than brothers. Ha, Jyou scoffed, as if. Jyou'd hidden the Digidestined from Hiroshi for that purpose, of being able to have something Hiroshi wouldn't steal from him...but then the day came. 

_ "Jyou, you won't guess who I was just at the movies with, who I had begging me to fuck him," Hiroshi had pranced into the room, eyes dancing with the probability of killing Jyou's happiness again and again. Jyou hated that look in his eyes._

_ "What do you want, Hiroshi?" Jyou sighed, knowing it was faster to just play along with Hiroshi's little games._

_ "Your little friend, Izumi."_

_ "Liar," Jyou snarled, rising from his seat in anger. "Koushirou would never go anywhere with a bastard like you."_

_ "Oh really, Jyou? He's been with me for the past two months, Jyou-kun, and today was our two month anniversary. Didn't you know that? Oh, you didn't? I thought you were the best of friends! You want to see proof?"_

_ Jyou hadn't wanted anything but to sink into the ground and die in a miserable ball._

_ "Here!" Hiroshi lay out a card in front of Jyou, picking it up when the Digidestined hadn't touched it. "'My Hiroshi,_   
_ 'I love you with all my heart, and I pray that you feel the same way. Thank you for making these past two months magical for me. Zutto aishiteru._   
_ 'Izumi Koushirou.' Isn't that so sweet?"_

"He never told you, Koushirou? That's just like him." Jyou turned away from Koushirou. "He spends his time making my life worse than hell." _But at the same time_, Jyou thought to himself, _he makes me enjoy the rest of life more..._ "He told me once that he wanted to just f*ck you and leave you, but then he thought it would be more fun if he played games with you. 

"I left town because I couldn't stand to listen to Hiroshi anymore, gloating over all those times you spent with him, and telling me every detail of what the two of you did." 

"Every detail?" Koushirou asked, his voice quivering. 

"Down to how you sounded screaming his name when he took you that one time," Jyou shot out, emotionless. What did it matter what he said anymore? Koushirou wouldn't care in the end, he'd find someone to talk to. "He said you begged him to fuck you all the time, and when he finally did, you acted like a little whore, moaning and--" 

_"He's mine, Jyou. And he gave himself to me like the little whore he is. All it took was one kiss, and he was begging me for more. He begged me, gripped onto me when I tried to leave," Hiroshi whispered to Jyou, pulling Jyou's face so they looked into each other's eyes. "He stripped for me, and it only took a few touches before he was hard, Jyou. So sweet, begging for more, thrusting into my hands crying when I wouldn't let him come. He asked me why, Jyou, and I laughed. I laughed and kissed him, not caring he would bruise from it. And I took him, as he screamed like a little whore off the streets. He moaned and screamed, coming all over himself like some slut. And when I left him, he begged for more."_

"Stop!" Koushirou shouted, and Jyou felt mild surprise at the tears falling from Koushirou's eyes. He fell silent, keeping his eyes trained on Koushirou, wondering why he'd ever thought he could see Koushirou again after hearing Hiroshi's tales. 

Silence reigned, and Jyou found himself remembering Hiroshi's laughter when he'd found out Jyou was leaving. _"Good riddence, and I'll make sure to take care of Koushirou for you... Just like that time before... Remember Jyou?_" 

"I didn't think you were so cruel, Jyou..." 

"Cruel?" Jyou asked. "Me? Trust me, Koushirou, I'm just returning the favor. How do you think I felt, knowing you were with my cousin, his little screw-toy? And I couldn't say anything because you'd never told me. You didn't trust me enough to tell me anything. So I kept your little secret, and Hiroshi told me everything." Were there tears slipping down his cheeks too? He thought he'd cried all he could over Koushirou...but apparently not. 

"You can't deny any of it, can you, Koushirou?" Jyou asked slowly, giving the other boy time to interrupt if he wanted to. Another bitter laugh. "If there's one thing that can be said for Hiroshi, it's that he tells the truth. Especially if he knows it'll kill someone else." Turning to Koushirou, forcing their eyes to meet, Jyou continued. "Did you know that I almost did kill myself, Koushirou?" he asked, staring deep. "I tried. I cut my wrists, watching the blood fall onto that nice little picture we all took in the DigiWorld. But Hiroshi found me. He wouldn't let me die. He said he wasn't done with me yet." 

"Jyou..." Koushirou seemed to search for words, and Jyou laughed again. 

"And I came back to Odaiba after all this time, wanting to see everyone else one more time, wanting to see YOU one more time before I killed myself. And this time I was going to succeed. I had a gun," Jyou pulled it out of his pocket, taking in Koushirou's shock with a measured gaze. "And I was going to kill myself. But then you wanted to talk to me." 

"Jyou..." 

"So here I am. And we've talked. And now you know. Good-bye, Koushirou." Jyou lept out the window and ran, not daring to look back at the boy who'd given him life and destroyed it. 

* * *

Oh boy... I'm gonna go back to Yamato and Taichi now.... Read and Flame or Review!!! Please? 


	11. Chapter 10: Trust

_Trust_

* * *

Thanks for waiting everyone... I'm sorry this took so long, but I've been a little stressed and busy, and my ideas disappeared, and then I got new ones... 

* * *

  
_Coward. Can't even go in and help the person you claim to love, can you, Tai?_ a voice in Tai's head mocked him, taunting him with the reality of the situation. _Too bad. I wonder what new punishment Masaheru has for his little boy? Maybe you'll get to see Yama get stabbed again. Wouldn't that be fun?_

_Would you shut up?!_ Tai shot back at the voice. He'd never told anyone about the strange voice, never dared in case they thought he was insane or some shit like that. Besides, it'd gone away for a while. But now it was back, and stronger than ever before. 

_Why should I? You know it's true, Tai. Don't you dare try to deny it. You know that I never lie to you, Tai. And you know the chances of you winning against Masaheru are slim to none._

The voice was right. It never had spoken a false word. 

One more reason for Tai to hate it. But the voice was himself too, so didn't he hate himself? 

But of course. 

There had been only a few times he'd not listened to the voice. The first time had been at his home, and the result had been Kari in the hospital. The second time had been in the Digital World, and the result had been Tai and all of his friends turned into tiny pieces of data. 

Good reasons to listen to the voice, no matter how much it annoyed and angered Tai. 

Sickening sounds of Yamato's slender frame being pummeled into a bloody pulp reached Tai's ears, and he forced himself to look up and see the torture his fallen angel was being put through. 

Golden locks matted with blood streaming down a perfectly formed face gave the impression of a tortured soul, Christ at his crucifixion. Biting his lip to keep from crying out, a tear slipped down his cheek, tracing a path alongside the crimson blood, reflecting and capturing light in its embrace. 

Tai's heart broke. 

How could he have done this to his angel, his love, his world? 

So maybe he was being melodramatic. And maybe it wasn't entirely his fault that Yamato had an abusive father who took pleasure in destroying beauty. 

But knowing that didn't help any. 

Slowly standing and walking to the edge of the branch, where he could almost touch the window he'd disappeared from, Taichi's mind locked into a plan. There was only one way to save his angel. 

He jumped. 

* * *

Jyou bit his lip. Could he really do this? Take his own life with the gun he'd bought for that purpose? 

Finally, he was at home again, safe in the room he was renting. Finally, he was alone, where he could end the pain. It wasn't that hard. 

_C'mon, Jyou. Take out the gun, just like you showed Koushirou. It's already loaded, unlock the safety. Raise it to your head, get ready to pull the--_

A knock at the door stopped his thoughts. Gently placing the gun on the bed, he rose and went to the door, opening it just a crack. 

He wished he'd pulled the trigger first. 

"Ohisashiburi da, Jyou-kun." 

Thoughts ran rampant in Jyou's mind. _What the hell are you doing here you bastard why can't you just leave me alone I was going to be fine for once without you and you just have to show up now of all times why can't you just disappear and forget about me find someone else to torture and torment no wait don't I don't want you to hurt someone else just leave me alone_... 

"Aren't you going to invite your cousin in?" 

_Never you will never come in here oh but if I don't let you in will you go and destroy someone else's life the way you've destroyed mine no I can't let you do that can't let you hurt someone else can't let you destroy someone else you'd probably go hurt Koushirou I can't let you hurt him he's so much more than you are..._

"Your precious Kou-chan just called me and told me that you were in town." 

_How could Koushirou have done that to me it doesn't matter anymore Koushirou probably thinks he's doing what was right and besides who really cares I have the gun I have two bullets I could kill Hiroshi and me both and then what would happen who knows who cares..._

"So, are we going to stand at the door, or can I come in, Jyou?" 

Jyou slumped against the wall, defeated by himself. "Fine. Come in." 

"Good to see you're finally back in town, Jyou." A cruel smile touched those eyes, those icy blue eyes. "I was beginning to think you'd deliberately tried to stay away from me." 

"Whatever gave me away, Hiroshi?" Jyou replied, voice dripping with sarcasm as Hiroshi entered. "Was it that I never returned your calls or that I stopped writing?" 

A harsh punch to his stomach was the fast reply. "You made a mistake, Jyou." 

_Yes, I made so many mistakes..._

"And now you're going to pay." 

* * *

Takeru held Hikari protectively against him, wondering what he could do. Somehow, he had to find someone who could help explain to him what was going on, why Hikari would jump from her bedroom window so late at night. She wasn't the suicidal type, and she definitely was stronger than this. 

Her limp body scared him. The fact that she wouldn't respond scared him. But what scared him most of all was the Digivice clutched tightly in her hand... stained with blood. 

At first the scent of the blood sickened him, and he barely wanted to hold the girl he called his friend, his love. Something overrode that instinct, the child who wanted to cower and run from the blood. 

He wouldn't call it courage, he'd never been courageous. Nor would he call it any of the other crests he and his friends all held. The blood... it wasn't so bad. It calmed him in some respects, after the initial fear. 

It wasn't like human blood. Human's blood was blue, and upon contact with oxygen, became red. This was black, thicker than the blood flowing through his veins. Blood might be thicker than water, but what was thicker than blood? 

This. 

He wasn't sure when it'd happened. He'd been trying to wake her, brushing the blood away from her face, letting her breathe, but he'd tasted some of it. 

So sweet, the feel of the not quite liquid slipping over his tongue. It wasn't coppery the way some authors described it in books. It was distinctly tart, but sweet at the same time, something that couldn't be fully written in words. But oh the feeling! 

It rushed through his body, and strengthened him. He who had always been the weakest, now felt himself pulsing with power. If only the others could see him now, they wouldn't think of him as the child who people had to protect, they wouldn't see him only as Tai's shadow, as Yamato's little brother, as Hikari's boyfriend. No, they'd see him as Takeru. 

And that's what he wanted. 

She stirred in his arms, eyes opening and finding his now metallic blue orbs with her own pulsing red windows to her soul. "Are you ready, Takaishi Takeru?" 

"I am." He didn't know where the words came from, didn't know what he was ready for, but he knew it was the right answer when she stood, the blood covering her disappearing into the dark of night. 

"Then we should go, Takeru." 

"Yes," he agreed softly, not noticing they were both now clothed in the finest silks colored the deepest midnight. "We should go, Lady." 

* * *

Now what will happen? Is Omoide lazy or what? Does this now have a plot? Oh yes... 


	12. Chapter 11: It Begins

trust

* * *

Yamato felt his heart scream as Tai jumped through the window, to his 'rescue'. It had been the last part of him whole, his body so hurt, his mind tortured by what he could only sense, but his heart had been whole because Tai had been safe. Now he didn't even have that to sustain him, and he fell limply on the ground, not caring anymore. Why should he care? 

He dimly heard Tai yelling at Masaheru, words like "police" and "bastard". Something in him wanted to sob in relief that SOMEONE was standing up for him, but at the same time, he knew it wouldn't make a difference. Masaheru would continue on as he did. For some reason, there was pleasure in beating up your son. And this was the way Masaheru found his release for his anger. 

_Better me than some random person on the street_, Yamato thought to himself. But was that necessarily true? At least on the street there were other people to see, to know, to TELL. Yama himself was too weak to do something like that. 

Wasn't he? 

He didn't have a reason to live. Hell, if Masaheru had ever TRIED to kill him, Yama probably would've helped. He would've been GLAD to leave this fucked up place where people could hurt each other and not give a damn. Where they could form words into arrows piercing your soul and bringing even the strongest, the coldest person to their knees. 

Just because people don't see them, doesn't mean the tears aren't there. 

But now he had a reason to live. Damnit, after all this time... he wanted to live. He wanted to be near Taichi, to share with him more than the quick exchange of words they'd held. He wanted to heal things with Takeru, even though the process had begun already. He wanted to help Taichi find his parents, and bite into them for leaving such a fantastic person alone. 

He couldn't do any of those things if he was dead. 

If he could've, he would've laughed at the irony. For the first time in so many years, he wanted to live, and yet, this was the closest he'd gotten to dying! 

"He's not yours, damn you fucking bastard, you don't deserve him!" Tai raged above him, and Yamato focused on his voice, so smooth, so strong. He couldn't die yet. "He's no one's but his OWN! What right do you have to even be NEAR him?!" 

If only that were true... 

* * *

Koushirou ran. Never had anything depended on him so much before, never had this weight settled in his chest. Jyou was going to kill himself BECAUSE OF KOUSHIROU. Before anything could be solved, before he had a chance to tell Jyou... something. Anything. 

A hand reached out and grabbed him. "Koushirou?" Sora's voice asked, disbelieving. 

Eyes narrowing in frustration and fear for Jyou, Koushirou broke away from her grip, not caring that she was probably hurt in more than one respect by that action. It didn't matter. JYOU mattered, and JYOU was going to go KILL himself if someone didn't stop him. 

"Koushirou!" Sora called from behind him, yelling after him. 

There was no time! It had taken him too long to trace Jyou through his computer. It was taking him too long to get there. It was taking-- 

Hiroshi's car. 

Parked in front of Jyou's apartment building, was Hiroshi's car. The sparkling, new, black as death sports car he'd gotten. Hiroshi's pride and joy. 

And if anything Jyou had said was true--which it probably was--that meant Hiroshi was inside. WITH Jyou. Probably driving him further into the insanity, further into this darkness that Koushirou had spawned through his actions. 

Koushirou couldn't allow that to happen. Not after all this, not after he was finally beginning to accept that maybe, just maybe, they could be more than friends. 

_No,_ he thought to himself, _I never loved you, Hiroshi. I loved the _**image**_ you represented. When I was with you, I could pretend to be with Jyou, and it would be all right. It was _**fine**_ as long as no one knew. But you hurt him, and I hurt him. We're both to blame for whatever happens tonight, but at least I never _**meant**_ to hurt him. I'll never forgive you for that.___

Because if Koushirou got inside the apartment and found Jyou dead... he didn't think he'd forgive himself either. 

* * *

The Lady and her Guardian arrived at their castle as the clock began to strike midnight. It would've been perfect, had lightning flashed to greet them, had the thunder been rolling without cease. It would've been perfect, had they been astride twin black stallions. 

Instead, the sky was clear, and the stars shone down on them disapprovingly. The only sound came from the bell tolling out the hour, and that too ceased within moments. Beside them, walked a pair of Angels, as if in a trance, unhearing, unseeing of what was going on before them. 

"Takeru," the Lady's voice cut through the air, splitting the fabric of silence that had drawn up between them as they'd crossed into this world. 

"Yes, Lady?" he whispered back, voice subdued. 

"You serve me, don't you?" 

"Yes, Lady." 

"Forever, Takeru?" Her words were velvet claws; a gently caressing warning. 

"Of course, Lady." 

"Are you sure, Takeru? Forever is such a long time." 

"I'm sure, Lady." 

A smile crossed her face. Then it was time to begin. 

Turning to her Guardian, and soon to be her Consort, she kissed him softly. He merely held out his wrist delicately, waiting for her to seal him to her, to bind them together. Or rather, to bind him to her, so that she couldn't die without him perishing as well. This would destroy their worst enemies. 

Licking the vein once, she whipped out a small dagger, and instead nicked his neck, drinking deeply before healing it. "Mine then, Takeru. Forever." 

"Forever." 

* * *

Short and not so sweet. I know, this one sucks. 


End file.
